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Dubai-based author and Khaleej Times columnist pens a memoir that gives language to pain and healing

Dubai-based author and children’s writing coach Asha Iyer Kumar has spent over two decades shaping narratives, some of which are her own and those of countless others. A prolific columnist for Khaleej Times for 15 years, and now The Daily Pioneer; she is also the author of eight books spanning fiction, essays, poetry, and reflective prose. 

Asha’s writing is known for its emotional intelligence, restraint, and deep humanity. From Sandstorms, Summer Rains (one of the earliest fictional explorations of the Indian diaspora in the Gulf) to A Hundred Sips, her work consistently illuminates the quiet, often unspoken moments that define our lives. She has mentored young writers for nearly 25 years, guided by her belief that writers are nurtured, not born. 

Her latest book, Scratched, is perhaps her most personal work yet. Written in the aftermath of profound loss, the memoir traces a woman’s descent into grief, anxiety, and depression, and her slow, non-linear journey toward acceptance. This is not a story of dramatic redemption arcs, but of small realisations, difficult pauses, and the courage to sit with pain rather than deny it. With unflinching honesty and literary restraint, Scratched becomes a compass for readers navigating their own inner storms, reminding us that healing is not about erasing scars, but learning to live with them. 

Scratched also stands as one of Asha’s most courageous works by being an intimate, literary memoir that doesn’t offer easy answers, but offers something far more valuable: companionship, honesty, and the quiet assurance that none of us are alone in our becoming. Edited excerpts of a conversation:

Question:

Scratched is a book you once believed you would never write. What changed? 

Answer:

I never imagined writing a memoir because I didn’t think my life was “remarkable” enough. Memoirs, in my mind, were about celebrities or extreme survival stories. But life throws curveballs. When grief hit suddenly, I found myself needing to pause and understand what was happening to me. Writing this memoir became a way to make sense of that chaos. 

Question:

How would you define grief, as explored in the book?

Answer:

Grief is universal, but also deeply personal. I initially thought what I was feeling was normal as everyone loses loved ones. But when grief is suppressed, it works against you. That suppression led me into depression, which I didn’t recognise for a long time because it was often dismissed as “just sadness".

Question:

Was there a turning point when you realised you needed help? Did writing the memoir help in your healing? 

Answer:

Yes. There came a moment when I felt I had lost myself. I knew this wasn’t who I was. Seeking professional help was a crucial turning point, and I’m grateful I listened to that inner voice telling me something wasn’t right. 

Writing helped me first become aware, then accept, and finally validate what I was going through. Healing isn’t instant or linear, it’s ongoing. Writing didn’t “fix” me overnight, but it allowed me to put my pain outside myself, to examine it with honesty and compassion.

Question:

The book contains startling honesty about family, especially your parents. Were you afraid of judgment? 

Answer:

Absolutely. Our society isn’t comfortable with such truths. But the response has largely been appreciation. Many readers told me it gave language to emotions they’ve carried but never voiced. That made the vulnerability worthwhile. 

Question:

How did you balance emotional catharsis with literary craft? 

Answer:

Restraint was key. Honesty doesn’t mean dumping everything on the reader. My experience as a writer helped me decide what to reveal and what to hold back. I wanted to be honest, not reckless. 

Question:

How long did it take to write Scratched? Did you ever think of abandoning the project?

Answer:

The book took about a year and a half to materialise. The story was evolving as I was evolving. I often paused, reflected, and returned to it. It wasn’t a fixed narrative—it was an ongoing journey.  In the beginning, yes, I almost abandoned the project. I didn’t know where it was going or who I would be by the end of it. But I realised I didn’t want it to be a self-help manual. I wanted it to be a companion which would be walking alongside the reader, not instructing them.

Question:

Your father’s presence looms large in the book. Does his absence still affect you? 

Answer:

Every single day. I still speak of him in the present tense. Healing doesn’t mean erasing the past, it means moving forward with the wound. The pain stays, but you learn how to live with it. 

Question:

What do you hope readers take away from Scratched? 

Answer:

That it’s okay to pause. To ask yourself what your mind and body are going through. To validate your pain instead of running from it. If my vulnerability allows someone else to accept theirs, then the book has done its work.

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